ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
