Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
