This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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