Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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