I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
