Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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