I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
