Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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