dude i'm inner monologue high
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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