the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
