shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
