we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
