isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
