I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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