yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
