He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
