You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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