I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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