Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
