I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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