i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Threesome in a minivan. New low
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
