And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
