Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
