DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
