Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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