I look better un-naked...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
