Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
