So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
