Don't you send me to vm
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize