so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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