By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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