Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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