dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
