she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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