1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
