Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
