Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
