So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
