i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
