You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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