eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize