I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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