Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
