we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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