i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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