woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
