And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
