well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
