you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize