dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
