i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
