Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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