i just had sex bonerless
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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