Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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