kristin has been a bad kristin
Girls should come with a carfax report
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
