If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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