i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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