come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
