He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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