He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
