Yo dont text me then not text me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
