PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
