One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize