chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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