why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
