we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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