Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
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