I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
