I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize