I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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