I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Your dad touched me again.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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