Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
